I can't believe it has been a year. This past year has been a year of depression, heartache, and anger. There are times when I feel like I am the only one that remembers our baby. It isn't that I want everyone to stop their lives to mourn with me, but at times I want to know that certain people in my life haven't forgotten our angel baby.
I will be spending the day waiting for my husband, father-in-law, sister-in-law and brother-in-law to cross the finish line at the Disney half Marathon.
Today I am in a much better place than I was even a few weeks ago. I think it has taken me so long to find peace with what happened because I never allowed myself the chance to grieve. I just wanted to be ok and strong for everyone else, that I convinced myself I was ok and didn't need to grieve. My advice to those of you that are new to this club no one wants to be a part of, or are like me ant still grieving, don't be afraid to be sad. Don't be afraid to talk about how you are feeling because chances are someone will listen, and someone will give you a hug and someone will be there for you.
Am I still sad...of course. Do i think about what my life would be like with a 4 1/2 month old...yes. Am I still searching for the answer to "why did this happen to me"...absolutely. Am I doing the best I can to heal and move on...every day.
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