Day 6

This is one of my new favorite workouts.  We got this for Christmas and I never got around to using it until a few weeks ago.  This is so much fun and really makes you sweat.  I have some dance background so I find it fairly easy to follow along with the character.  My husband on the other hand says all you have to do is shake your hips and you get points.

There are lots of options on this game.  You can just select certain songs that you want to dance to, you have 3 workout options that vary from a 20, 40 or 60 minute class time.  Within each class time option there are 10 different classes to take.  Lots of variety for sure.  It also lets you program in your stats and will tell you how many calories your burned at the end of each class. 

I have been doing this game on my cross training day at least once a month.  I recommend this game if you enjoy dancing.

Day 5

Part of the life change I am working on this month isn't just emotional and spiritual change but physical change as well.  For 2 years my Husband and I have not planned trips, outings, events, etc. because I could possibly be pregnant and that would keep me from being able to do certain activities. 

I have been overweight my entire life.  I have been dieting almost my entire life.  There were times in my life where I felt like the "token fat girl."  I hate feeling like the biggest girl in the room.  I hate feeling like people judge me by the way I look.  Whether it is true or not, I feel like people look at me and think, "Wow that girl must eat at McDonalds everyday." 

I am a healthy eater.  I don't cook with butter or oil.  I bake, grill or steam everything.  I do occasionally give in to my weakness of french fries or sweets but am conscious of not doing it more than once or twice in a week. 

My mom had great success with the South beach diet by loosing about 100 pounds in a year.  I have previously done Atkins and lost about 40 pounds.  My husband and I started South beach because it seems like a great life style change and something that would be easy for us to keep up with. 

We finished the first week this past Saturday and I lost 5.6 pounds.  I was super excited and super motivated and it was exactly what I am needing.  I have set a goal to loose 20 pounds by the time we go on vacation June 1.

Stay tuned as I share my new workout plan I'm experimenting with and some new recipes.  I have a feeling some of these recipes will fail but I will share the good, the bad and the ugly!

Day 2, 3, 4

So already I am behind on my 30 day challenge to blog.  My in-laws are in town for their spring break and I haven't had the chance to sit down to blog.  It works out because I was trying to figure out how I was going to divide up the first topic into a few days...I guess now I don't have to.

Part of the life change I'm looking for, is a shift in my thinking about having a baby.  You can go back and look through my blog to get an idea of the journey I have been on but here is a short overview.  My husband and I got married on July 11, 2009.  We knew from the start we wanted a family and decided to start trying right away.  We got pregnant on the 3rd try.  It was bittersweet because I found out I was pregnant on the 1 year anniversary of our proposal, but it was also about 2 weeks after my grandpa passed away.  I was thrilled because in my mind, the baby I was carrying had my grandpa's spirit.  On the morning of January 8th I woke up and had some light spotting.  That light spotting soon turned into more and we went to the ER.  They did an ultrasound (my first ultrasound) and we were able to see the baby and the heart beat.  The problem was the baby was measuring at around 6 weeks and I was almost 10 weeks.  They sent me home and told me I was fine, but I might miscarry.  We were home for a few hours when it happened.  It was like a balloon burst.  It was horrible and traumatic.  My husband and just run out to the store.  I was scared I was bleeding out and would pass out or die even.  We called the hospital they told us we didn't need to come in unless the bleeding got to a certain point.  For the rest of the night I tried to sleep but was in a ball of pain, fear, emotions etc.  We left the hospital thinking everything was fine.

It has been 2 years and almost 3 months since we lost our little Zoe.  We didn't know if she was a girl but in my heart I knew she was.  We named her Zoe because Zoe means life.  Since the miscarriage I have been to 3 different doctors and finally found one that will help us.  I'm convinced that something isn't working properly in my body since the miscarriage because I haven't had regular cycles.  I did 3 rounds of clomid with no luck.  My husband has a slightly low count but the doctor wasn't concerned about it because it was so close to normal.  I have been been angry at God. for the majority of these 2 years.  Everyone keeps telling us, "When it's meant to be it will happen," "just be patient,"  "Have fun trying," "Sometimes miscarriages are blessings in disguise."   It is to the point that if one more person says something like that to me I think I will snap.  I can't understand that if Zoe wasn't meant to be then why did I get pregnant in the first place.

It has been a long emotional journey.  My husband and I have fought for no other reason than we both have deep hurt from our loss.  After years of soul searching, praying and wonderful friends we have had a change of heart.  We have decided that we will be parent's but sometimes people don't get to have their own babies the natural way.  Some babies come to us through other outlets.  We will be starting the adoption process in a few weeks.  We have prayed long and hard to find peace in our hearts to know that God is still in control.  "The Lord gives and Lord takes away, Blessed be the Lord."  Sometimes we never understand God's plan for our lives, but I have to trust and know that their is a purpose.  God doesn't want us to suffer, and he definitely doesn't want us to suffer alone.  He wants us to have bold faith in every aspect of our lives and to jump in and to not look back.  I will always have hurt in my heart over the losing Zoe, but I know she will be in heaven waiting for us.  One day we will get to hold our angel and we will not only be in presence but in the presence of the Lord.

30 Day Challenge

A friend of mine has a blog, Eat, Pray, Love, Live!  She is started a challenge for fellow bloggers and I have accepted the challenge.  For the month of April my challenge is to not only to blog for 30 days but is "30 days of life change."  My husband and I have had a hard couple of years and have decided to make some big changes in our lives. This challenge will be about my journey for the next 30 days and how i'm changing my life.

My Week in New Orleans

When you think of spending a week in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, God isn't the first thing that probably comes to you mind.  I just got home from spending a week with 500+ youth ministry workers and volunteers in New Orleans.  The week is called the Extravaganza...and that it was.  Spending time worshiping God and celebrating the youth I serve is a fulfilling experience.  Whenever I get back from these type of events it takes me a few days to recover.  The days are long and the nights are short, your mind and heart are filled to the brim with emotion and information. We heard different pastors speak on various topics related to youth ministry and pop culture.  We worshiped with different styles of music, which is always my favorite part.

Overall, my favorite part of the week is getting to spend time with my youth worker friends.  We share ideas and happenings, within our groups as well as learn from what others are doing.  We also discuss struggles and how to overcome our own weaknesses to be better at our ministry.

A topic that came up was feeling inadequate from clergy.  There is a stigma that if you are not clergy than you are not taking seriously or have any "rights" as far as doing ministry or there are thing you just can't do because you aren't ordained.  This brings me back to when I was 15.  To make a long story short I went to a Servant camp in Key West.  One night we visited the Metropolitan Community Church and listened to the pastor explain that he was a homosexual and his ministry revolved around that.  At the time I didn't really understand what homosexuality was but knew the Bible said it was wrong.  I was curious and raised my hand to ask a question.  I asked something along the lines of, "How can you preach the word of God if you are living in a way that the Bible says is wrong?"  I meant nothing disrespectful by my question, I was just curious and had an eagerness to learn and understand.  The Lutheran pastor that was their walked over the the row I was standing in and said, "It also says in the Bible that women should not speak out in church!"  I don't remember anything else he said because I was humiliated.  Now the thought is, because I am not clergy I can't be respected as a youth worker.  I struggle with this more out of the frustration of other people and not with my own thoughts and beliefs.  I believe that we are all called to share the Good News. Regardless of gender, race, economic standing, past or present we are all called to love and serve the Lord.  It is not my place to decide who is able to speak the Good News, it is just my place to speak the Good News and share God's love.  Yes in the Lutheran Church their are rules and traditions that state I can not do certain things, and that is OK and understandable. 

One of the most important things I tell my youth is that they need to question their faith, in order for them to understand what exactly it is they believe.  You can't know the ins and outs of your faith if you are just taking what someone tells you and thinking that is the answer. Don't be afraid to ask questions and explore your faith.  If something doesn't sound right figure out why.  And above all, God doesn't look at age so even though you are a teen you are still called to spread God's love.

White Collar

I know I'm about 3 years behind on this show but....OMG!!!! This show is amazing.  My husband and I recently broke down and subscribed to netflix.  We are big fans of the USA drama Suits so figured we would give this show a try and started with season 1.  It ended up that for about 2 weeks we watched 3-4 episodes a night because it was amazing.  Not to mention Matt Bomer is VERY Beefy!!!!
We finally caught up to the current season and loving every minute of it.  Good job USA!!!

I'm back

It has been a long few months so I have posted.  First off we didn't have a computer for awhile but that has changed since receiving a new macbook pro for Christmas!  Here is what has been happening in our life.

I met a wonderful new friend through Mary Kay and her name is Emily.  She introduced me to my new obgyn and I am so thankful for her.  My new doctor is amazing and I couldn't be happier.

Over the summer i started having testing done to find out what the deal with my body is.  I had lots of blood work done to check hormone levels, thyroid, sugar etc. Everything, of course came back normal.  My regular doctor sent me to have an ultrasound done just to check things out.  They found I had a cyst on my right ovary and told me to visit my OBGYN.

I finally was able to meet my new doctor...Dr Kelly Hamel...love her!!!  She wanted to do an ultrasound in 4 weeks to check the size of the cyst but didn't seem concerned.  In the mean time she sent my husband to have his count checked.

Flash forward to my followup ultrasound...she told me the cyst was smaller and that everything looked perfect.  Husband's count were a little low but not horrible and she said if he did another test those results could come back normal.  with all of that being said she decided to put us on Clomid.

She gave me 3 rounds of clomid.  If they don't work she will look at bumping me up to the next level of Clomid.  We are currently on round 2 of Clomid.

The side effects of clomid are supposedly pretty brutal, but I have been lucky...or not...and haven't dealt with too many.  On the first round I had dizzy spells throughout the month that only lasted a few seconds.  I also felt tired and had dry mouth.  A few intense headaches, I normally never have headaches, and ovulation pain.  This month I haven't had any of the dizzy spells but have had some hot flashes, and frequent intense headaches.   We are very hopeful that clomid will help us have our take home baby.

On another note my sister in law had a miscarriage about 6 weeks ago.  They found out it was a girl and she had a genetic disorder that would have made her sterile and no neck...I can't remember what it is called.  They decided to name her Annalise.  My mother in law has been asking us to name our baby and since my sister in law did Matt and I decided to name our baby.  We don't know if our baby was a boy or a girl but I knew in my heart she was a girl.  We have named our angel baby Zoey.  Zoey was a top name of ours but because of the meaning we thought it was fitting to name our angel Zoey which means life.

Well this was the short version of the past few months and now that I have a new computer my intention is to keep up with the blog more often.