TTC

So Matt and I are going to start TTC again in April.  I have such mixed feelings about everything.  I mean I am so ready to be a mom and have been for several years.  I have this empty longing inside of me that almost hurts when I see other sweet babies.  Matt tells me I am not allowed to ask random people if I can hold their baby, but I just have this need...I'm not sure if anyone else can understand this because it is hard to explain with out sounding like a creeper or crazy person.

I'm so scared of being pregnant again and just waiting and waiting.  Not just the normal waiting that everyone does as they wait for their baby to be born, but for me I will be waiting to see when and if my baby will be born.  I am terrified of loosing another baby.  I am terrified of having to go through everything again.  It has been almost 15 months and it still feels like it happened yesterday.

Please keep us in your prayers as we begin this journey again.  Please pray that we can find the right doctor for us and that God will just prepare our hearts for whatever happens.  I know I can handle anything, but I just want God to prepare my heart to be ready to handle the "anything"